Why do people love me?

Why do people love me, a simple question that boggles your imagination, how is this guy so great? Well its most likey because of a few reasons. Maybe its because when im in a fight I run away screaming Im not worth it. Maybe its my sexual catch phrase, " once you go Adam you never go back". Or it could be me constanly saying girl power to myself when I suceed. It could be the first words that I say to girls, " I have herpes". It could also be the times when a girl leans in to kiss me and I say, " Its happening, its finally happening, I cant belive this, im going to kiss a girl, its happening, Im the luckiest boy around, by the way I have Herpes". Maybe its due to my perfect physical physique and natural man musk which drives women crazy, or maybe cause I pay them to hang out with me so people think im not gay. Either way you look at it, Im damn good.
Yours,
Adam Scharf