Charles The Actor

Charles was a simple man, with simple features, with a simple personality. Charles was very easy to like, charming personality, with awful talent. Charles was an actor. At first, acting to Charles was just trying not to cough for a long period of time, but he then realized he can be good at this. Charles dove himself into workshops and lessons. Teachers labled Charles as the worst actor of all time so, Charles started to do some thinking about acting. One day he just had an epiphany, " Wait, I get it, I get acting, I should just pretend to be another person on stage. Yea, and I'll say all of the lines in the script for that person'. After that idea hit him, more jobs followed, he landed a commercial that had to do with baby food, he quit however because every time he would say, " Gerber baby food, does your baby right", the baby in his hands would puke all over him.

Charles also fell into the drug phase. Often he when he would try to park near the set, he would slam on the break skid five feet, hit a Kid, run over a mail box, which flew into a oil truck, that set aflame, the explosion spun Charles into a 740; he then crashed over a bridge, fell onto a nearby fairy, the fairy sunk, the tide brought the car in, a massive whale tail rocketed Charles on the street upside down, which then he few up a ramp, on a roof. Then fell into a cement trunk. The cement trunk hit him into Wall of the set and he said, " Like a Glove". At many of his premieres he would make outrages Entrances, on many occasions he would gallop in on a large white horse named Misty. Such outrageous stunts as these, portrayed poor Charles as a cocky self righteous man. All of Charles acting deals seemed to fade away into oblivion. To gain back some publicity for his demeaning career. Charles sought to film his own celebrity Sex movie, but many did not download it. Charles wasn't much of a celebrity, plus it seemed as if it was scripted due to Charles saying, " OH my gosh, This is so random, I cant belief you are taping this, Me Charles, ( looks at camera), having sex, IM going to leave this in a easily found place so people can post it on the internet". It turns out no one even cared to break in his house for it. Charles then left in outside on the street. Still no one noticed it, so Charles ended up putting it on the internet himself( still no one cared). He then had the bright idea to get married 34 times in one day. Charles thought he would do what many celebritiess do, adopt a baby. Charles thought he adopted a beautiful young boy. the adoption agengcy said he wasent a good fit, so Charles decided to go get one himself. He travled to mexico and brought back a baby boy,apparently that was illegal, so he then just payed a midget named rick to pretend to be his baby.


At the age of Forty he was on the move and as cocky as ever. He recieved the following roles. A spoon in Beauty and the Beast. He played Ronald McDonald for their commercials, but was fired because Charles kept reading it very dramatic and scaring the kids. ( shouting )" Come to McDonald's, the finest in the land, ( dramatic crying) I beg of you on my life, please come to McDonalds". He also was hired to the African American Theater Company, but was fired on his first day due to him calling the director colored person.

As his age grew, so did his stupidity, he would spend his money without thinking. He purchased a sweat shirt made of Cat hair. His love life was also not in good shape. Charles with the fear of being alone forever, began to study love films for advice. Charles would often walk down the streets holding a lot of books and running into women, or if he was lazy he would simply just throw the books at them. Sometimes Charles the actor would say crazy things to women, " IM a pirate", and would claim he was looking for treasure and ask if he could look around their chest. As acting and love slipped away, he began some obscene hobbies, such as hunting, the only problem was he would hunt in the worst places( Pope states," lets make peace, and throws the doves out and one is quickly shot down, and then everyone hears Charles say, "GOT CHAAA").

Charles knew to go back to acting, his heart was telling him to go back. By the time he got out of jail for the shooting he was 63, and rusty. He didn't have much money to attend any professional acting classes, instead he enrolled in Bob Sagettes Acting school. The hopes of a rebirth looked slim, mainly because Charles would often finish a scene and forget he was on stage. Sometimes he would start eating during shows, and just walking across the stage at random times. Once he was on stage finished his scene and just started talking to his co-star. It would appear his acting career was done, but Charles still had no clue.

He kept going to every audition possible, but still no hits. So Charles thought it would be a good idea to be on his own reality show called, " Hostage", where Charles would rob a bank, choose 17 lucky hostages at gun point, where each hostage would compete to see which one would be the, the ultimate hostage. The pilot bombed, and Charles went to jail yet again. This time the public took notice. He made the cover of almost every Paper, every magezine, as well as being on the news for a week strait. Charles watched himself on the news, from his lonely jail cell with his lovable, unpredictable cell mate, Rainbow. Charles had a deep hunger to see his fans. He wanted them to be satisfied with him. He went the route that many prisoners do, he wrote a childrens book tittled, " Honey , I had sex with the dog". The childrens book failed due to obvious reasons.

Now with fame, Charles the Actor was happy. As age 70 hit him, he was allowed to leave the prison. With all new life ahead of him, and 2 fans left. He embarked on a new acting career. He landed the part of scrooge, he recieved rave reviews for every show. Except the time Tiney Tim was talking to scrooge, and Charles once again forgot he was on stage and accidently pushed Tiney Tim after he called him a mean man, and Tiney Tim fell into the orchestra pit, to cover his mistake he kept pushing him in the pit for 6 shows strait.

After scrooge, Charles realized he was getting old, and no longer wanted to act, but live the rest of his life out. Charles the actor later died at the age of 87, he died of a heart attack, I say he died of a deep void. Never reaching legendary fame really struck Charles, but he lives on today, in our hearts, and our minds, and in the critically acclaimed sequel to, " Honey, I slept with the dog". Entitled, " Honey our cat is pregnent". So please, keep Charles in your heart, for this is a remarkable story about a actor who dident quite make it big, but Charles never knew the diference anyway.