Confessions Of A Dirt bag CLOWN

( Man in clown costume at a AA metting addressing the Crowd)

"Hello, My name is Fredrick the clown, and I have a problem,

I suppose it all began in my childhood, I had a very Heathly relationship with my Parents, Espiaclly My dad, He left a deep void in me when he Died. I suppose I blame myself for his death, I Shot him. The funeral was almost unbearable, espically when the very small clown Herse drove up to the cemetary and 30 of my Dads close freinds Poured out of the car, it was like a sad joke. I also shot them.

During my Teens problems flourished at the sight of a poor CLown named Fredrick. Kids always picked on me, They would call me names such as, Clown Freak, Nerd boy, it usally ended up with me walking away slowly honking my nose.

In clown college I felt at home, I began to master my craft and make everyone laugh on the way. I felt good, for the first time in my life, I , Fredrick the clown Felt Good. That is untill I Graduated. During my graduation When my name was called, I ACCIDENTLY Took the Dean and shoved him in a bag and shipped him to Cub . After that, I worked in the circus for 2 years, I was fired for Repedaitly hitting the Ringmaster over the head every time he called my name. I began to drink heavily, My career also took a visious blow, I was reduced to a Kids Birthday clown.

I would often drink when I was entertaining the kids, I was so drunk I would often show up Naked. I would also shout random things like, " Hey kids, Im slightly Retarted", and," Hey boys and girls, How are you today, I have one Testicle, how do you think I feel?". Somtimes I would even Explain where babies come from, the parents dident like that either. Occasionally I would Pursue face painting, that is untill I painted I suck, on many of the kids faces. I was drunk most of the time, I wasent thinking you know, Some times I would hand out cards to the kids that said,
HI Boys and girls
It sure is great
To see all of you
Happy Birthday Timmy
Im going to kill you
-Love Fredrick the Clown

Drinking was now a part of my Sad clown life, It became obvious when Beer flew out of my Flower and went into little timmy's punch( he was never the same again). My wife ended up leaving me, apparently she dident like it when I went to entertain her Nephews party and I kept Juggling their cats. As you can see, Im a Sad Clown, and I need help, I need support, it would be nice to have somone there to tell me when IM urinating In my clown suit. It would be great for someone to be there when I Keep grabbing my croch and saying honk, mistanking it for my nose.

Im Fredrick the Clown, and I have a problem".