Sassy men

As the world turns, more and more men, are becoming gay, some for the attention, some because they actually like it, and some cause they want a excuse to wax their eyebrows. I though, have a problem with some of the gays, not all of them, I have many gay freinds, but some just dont get it. Gay is a lifestyle, not a race, what the hell is the whole parade thing about. Parades, they are great. They are meant to celebrate a holiday, or honor the dead, or the military, but gay men................what? Another thing, is the gay schools, there are schools just for gay kids( westside story). And another thing, i hate it when this happens

me: oh man, this is so gay

KID: hey, nooo, dont say that

me: what

Kid: it can hurt their feelings

Me: oh really, Gay Gay gay, this is gay , thats gay, this shirt is gay, gay gay, your gay, im ga.........umm. this wall is gay, yea , the wall, not me, the wall. the one right here, ya know the...ok

So once again, for all the gays who are parading, being gay is a life style, stop making it seem like a race! ( sorry if this offended anyone)

looking for a job...

So here is summer, came so quickly, and now I must find a job. I dont know what to do though, ive often thought about fighting crime due to my superior muscle complex. Or maby work in a chinease place, naww, chinease people creep me out, why? Cause whenever you walk in there they always have that grin on their face, and then the converstation goes like this.
chinease man: oh , how are you today sir, you sit her , ok?

me: yea ok

chinease man: ( to other chinease man) da to naga sowie pun na la tore( evil grin)

me: ...........what

Another reason they creep me out cause in chinease places why do they have american paintings up on the wall, i always feel like they are looking through the painting at me,

Me: umm waiter, why is mona lisas eyes so squinty in this painting,

waiter: ummmmm, she looking in sun......yea....she looking in sun when the painting was taken( turns to other waiter) to do la muca naca ( evil laugh)

me: .....what

ok, forget about chinease people, maby I can work in the woods, like as a guide, yea, ive always had a fantasy about being in the woods, I would ride a dear around named oliver, and we would .......wait a minute, I got it, I would ride a deer around named oliver , we would fight crime in chinese restaurants in the woods.........excellent

Fear Factor

As I scan the tv late at night, I come across a little show called fear factor.


Fear factor- this show is annoying, why you ask? Ill tell ya why. Because the contestants still act surprised when they have to eat something gross.

Contestant: wait what, i have to eat pig rectum?!( DUHH YOU IDIOT, ITS FEAR FACTOR!)

I mean the show has been on for a couple of years now, everyone who is on the show these days have seen the show many times, these people know what the show entails. It bothers me even more when they quit a stunt, and walk away frome it.

Contestant: Wait, I cant do this, im not eating spiders and cockroaches in a blender, ( THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE, DID YOU THINK THEY WERE JUST NOT GOING TO DO IT THIS TIME?!)

Not in anger

As I saw the tv today, I came across a info comercial about a guy who makes paddles to spank your kids, it reads on the paddle, NOT IN ANGER . Wait a minute... SPANK KIDs WHEN YOUR HAPPY! Im pretty sure you need to be mad in the first place in order to even want to spank your kids, whos the sick child pedefile who thought of this one.......................michael jackson anyone?

Michael Jackson: oh boy, i have a wonderfull idea ( in classic Michael Jackson voice)

Executive: well what is it mr jackson

Mj: we can make paddles for people to sell, to spank their kids

Executive: well im pretty sure thats not good these days

Mj: oh know, not like that, just put on the paddle, Not in Anger.

Executive: brilliant , simply brilliant

Mj: and we can have info commercials

Executive: yes yes

Mj: and pamflets on how to do it so your not hurting them

Executive: oh execellent, excellent

Mj: and i can make a instructtional video about how to do it

Executive: ummm possibly

MJ: ( on a roll now with ideas) yea yea, thats good ,and then we can tell them to take pictures of parents spanking their kids, and send them into me!

Executive: ......

Mj: what?

Executive: ......( Gares at him)

Mj: ( Glares back)

(Awkward silence)

Well it may have not been like that, but hey. So parents around the world, i guss start spanking your kids, and not in anger, make sure you are happy, and why not frolic around the house with the paddle, wave to your kids with it, im sure they are going to wave back and run screaming out of the house in a fit of joy.