Why do people love me?

Why do people love me, a simple question that boggles your imagination, how is this guy so great? Well its most likey because of a few reasons. Maybe its because when im in a fight I run away screaming Im not worth it. Maybe its my sexual catch phrase, " once you go Adam you never go back". Or it could be me constanly saying girl power to myself when I suceed. It could be the first words that I say to girls, " I have herpes". It could also be the times when a girl leans in to kiss me and I say, " Its happening, its finally happening, I cant belive this, im going to kiss a girl, its happening, Im the luckiest boy around, by the way I have Herpes". Maybe its due to my perfect physical physique and natural man musk which drives women crazy, or maybe cause I pay them to hang out with me so people think im not gay. Either way you look at it, Im damn good.
Yours,
Adam Scharf

Thanks Giving Prayer

OH lord,
We sit here, In thankfulness, on this Wonderful day that you have given birth to. Now we must reflect on your genorosity through thanks.

First of all oh mighty one, thank you for my blessed family, I could ask for no better, also thank you for this house. Also thank you for The Indians, by the way, sorry for killing everyone of you. Also thank you lord for the beautifull images that are painted everywhere on this great Earth. Such as Flowers, Trees, Babbling brookes, and a gracefull deer Lying peacfully in A windshield.
Thank you for making me feel like a Jedi every time I walk into motion censored doors. Thank you for the years I kept mixing up my street address by thinking the Dr, was for Docter. Thank you for the way birds seem to always poop on me, thank you for the times I was getting a hair cut, and I thought the Barber was talking to me, but was actually talking to someone else, boy I looked liked an idiot. Thank you for the great time I had in Europe, the beaches where amazing, I espically enjoyed all the naked walks on what I thought where Nude beaches. Thank you lord for that great moment when I got my Drivers lisence and shouted, " LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME", and then ran over a Nun. Thank you for those ghetto kids who wear Jeans even if its 103 degrees out. Thank you for the child hood phobia of Flesh eating goats. Thank you for my failed invention of water flavored bubble gum. Thank you for the kids who are not funny and you find yourself fake laughing so they dont feel bad. Thank you for overweight aerobic instructers. Thank you for white kids who think they are being black my simply wearing sean John apparel. Thank you lord, for watching us night and day, judging everything we do, and what we say, telling us how to do things, and sending us to hell for an eternity of punishment if we do not follow , I love you too. Thank you for eskimos, Zukini bread, and the kid who says duck for twenty minutes in every duck duck goose game. Thank you lord, for this food, which I had to pay and cook for. By the way, Mel gibson sucks, thank you fot that too.

Amen..