Where Are They Now? The 12 Disciples Edition

There once was a group that took the World by storm. Influencing with their best selling book, and sold out shows around the Nation. For these 12 young men formed at a early age, and where apart of a group that made history. The young men are, The 12 Disciples. Many know what happened to their front man, Jesus, but few know the story of the Disciples, so now I give you, Where are They Now: The 12 disciples edition.

Peter: A favorite of the ladies, Peter was a teen idol, even though he wasnt in his teens. Peter felt the urge to shed his bubble gum image and choose to do something much more dangerous. Today he traveles the world and takes fasinating pictures. His most famous picture however is when he was with the group, it’s a picture of Judas kissing Jesus as he says, " Don’t be gay dude". He has also made many discoveries, he discoverd a new type of salamander, with the head of a Salamander and the body of lettuce.

James: The elder of the group, has left the business but claims to still have spiritual activity today. He has claimed to have his spirit leave his body, and in some cases his body leave his spirit which proved to be very akward at tennis matches.

John- After the Disciples, John is now working in a laboratory, exploring math and science. He had a stint on oprah in which she conducted an experiment to see if placebos worked. However, when John found out the pills he was taking where fake, he became so upset he went home. There he choose to overdose on pills, however, after an hour it became apparent that these too where in fact placebos, and that Oprah is a crazy bitch.

Andrew: Andrew Joined a Two Man blues Trio, and fell in love with a girl who had trouble blinking in unison. His rock and roll life style caught up to him, and in late march entered a local rehab center. Today he is happily divorced. When asked what the leading cause of divorce was he responed, " Marriage".

Philip: There is no word on how Phillip is today, because his name is Phil, no one cares about that one, come on, his name is Phill. You don’t see the book of Phil do you? Ofcourse not, its Phil.

Nathanael: He still prophicises today, he often speaks and schools, churches, and clown strikes. His most recent work came out in 2003, in which him and his wife co wrote a brilliant book which touched apon the meaning of life. The Following is an excerpt. " The key to life is very simple. To live a long life, thy must me kind to thy neighbor, love thyself, Cherish quality time with loved ones, and do Heroine. Till this day no one knows what he was talking about.

Thomas: A crowd favorite, Thomas was always on the run from crazy fans. So crazy, one of them choose to have plastic surgury to look just like him. Unfornutanly, to this day we still can not tell them apart, so our interview was a bit odd. We do have however one statement each from each Thomas.
Thomas #1: " I believe man should be able to love whoever he desires, whether it be man, or women. As long as they still love god".

Thomas #2: " I believe man should be able to love whoever he desires whether it be man, or women. It takes three and a half minutes to make good popcorn".


Matthew: Fell into some trouble with the law after he egged Ponches Pilots House.

James: Today he still does some Disciple work, he soon regained fame for not just his work, but his wifes work. His wife was a noble women, who accomplished great deeds of heriosim, her last words on her death bed where, " I should of Slept around More".

Jude: Jude was a very meek, and tended to be on the shy side. He eventually became mentally ill, and till this day whever he hears the song American Pie, he dresses as a women.

Simon: Simon kept up his disciple work for a while, he later found a passion in taking long expeditions. His most famous one is when he went to the Jungle. His Expedetion was cut short however when he was taken hostage by an Elk.

Judas: When he Judas quite the group, he was eventually replaced by a shorter, more older man. He was quickly kicked out due to the fact that his sermons contained no intelligence at all. He also had an annoying catch phrase, " Who Done it, am I right?!". This catch phrase proved to be comical at certain moments, but failed to amuse at Funerals. " OH man, this guy is laying dead in this here box, can anyone give him a cough drop, cause he wont stop coffin, Who done it, am I right?" He was stabbed shortly after.

All Disciples are still in contact today, and still get together every year to dive into past memories, swim in their old success, and laugh about old times. like the time when the cat crawled under the deck and Simons granmda went go get and and they never saw her again. Or the time Peter became so drunk he went on a rampage in church, preaching about wine, and how mexicans have no nipples. And who could forget the time at the last supper when they all sat on the same side of the table cause Judas had gas. For now the group will stay broken up, but perhaps some day they will all meet again, it could happen in the near future, especially if this world war three buisness breaks out. For now, we can still read their book. Thank you, this has been Where are they Now?

Stay tuned, next week on the program, Where are they now: Waldo, who the hell knows?