The Great New Years Resolutions Of Adam Scharf

1. Stop Refering to myself as she.

2. Stop throwing objects at blind People to see if they are really blind.

3. Stop telling girls how much I think they weigh when I meet them.

4. Stop asking the judge where the white people sit in court.

5. Make Ryan Seacrest stop doing new Years

6. Stop bowing every time a chinease person walks in the room.

7. Name my kids Mom and Dad to confuse people

8. Invent A Walkmen Nano and put it on the Market.

9. Continue To give a sympathy Clap to any Kid who is in Last place in a Track or swimming Race. We Need to let them know that we appreciate them racing and that they suck.

10. Stop calling my black freinds Colored People

11. Stop getting Dissapointed when I make a sand castle on quick sand

12. Hire a Narrator to Narrate My actions when I am a loss for words